Last October, Logan and I joined a couple of groups on FetLife. Both of us are curious about the fetish way of life. To me, the lifestyle resembles a complex organism with different facets to enjoy. Our next step was to attend a munch – an in-person get together to meet people. But even though Logan and I would sign up for a munch, for one “reason” or another we never attended one.. We discovered that the FetLife community had a requirement that newbies must attend one munch before a person can participate in any parties. This is so to make sure the host/hostess and other participants feel comfortable around you and you mean no harm.
I had fear of the unknown. I did not know what group members would expect from Logan and I after our first munch. The most active online group we belong to is for group sex/orgies. I definitely wasn’t ready for our first introduction into the lifestyle as participants in a group sex setting.
My first and largest fear is for our relationship. We have a good relationship with a strong foundation. I have no idea what would happen if we open Pandora’s box and bring in a third and/or fourth party into our sex life. I am not against the polyamorous lifestyle, but it is something we want to explore in the future? Could either one of us handle the possible jealously or tension this would create?
Another excuse I used to cancel our munch plans was my dental work. I was in the process of receiving a lot of dental care. The went through multiple cleanings, tooth fillings (including a repeat for one tooth), several tooth extractions and creating molds of my mandible and maxilla for partials. I swear, I went to the dentist once a month for almost a year straight.
I also dodged going to our first munch because we are active in the atheist community. I wasn’t ready to run into friends and acquaintances from that sector of our life. Where we live, the population is over 224,000, but it still has a smaller community feel to it. It is easy to run into people you or your grown children know. We know one FetLife member who joined the local atheist groups we belong to. I messaged him to break the ice to help avoid an awkward meeting. This FetLife member told me I would be surprised how the fetish and atheist communities are interwoven.
For all of these reasons and more, I did not seek out try to meet others in the fetish lifestyle. Fast forward ten months. I was invited to join a new FetLife group. It is a group for those who enjoy rope play. After reading the rules of the group, there is no pressure or expectations to have a sexual encounter with others in the group. I was excited because my previous fears and inhibitions melted away.
We plan to share our journey into the fetish community. I hope you will find it helpful, especially if you are interested in the fetish way of life. If you have any thoughts or suggestions, please feel free to leave a comment or contact us.
(Credit for the featured image of this post is a beautiful work of Samarel)